Vanburger Roundup: Hamburger Mary's

In this new feature, I do what no blogger has ever dared to do: review hamburgers in Vancouver.  This city is most known for its Asian cuisine and something called "West Coast" (which usually means overpriced Italian, Asian, and pub food variants), but it is also an excellent city for high quality hamburgers.  This says a lot, considering I am originally from what is supposed to be Canada's beefiest city: Calgary; home to plenty of excellent steakhouses, but surprisingly few good burger joints (that I know of ... it's been three and a half years since I lived there).

Vancouver has a long tradition of excellent burgers dating back to the grand-daddy of them all: White Spot, which has a rich history going back to the Depression era.  Since then, locally-owned burger joints have been a fixture on the Vancouver food scene.  Nearly all of them claim to make Vancouver's best burger.  In this feature, I intend to find out whose hot meat sandwiches truly live up to the claim.

To be eligible for the Vanburger Roundup, a restaurant must meet the following criteria:

• Must be either an independent restaurant in Vancouver (Hamburger Mary's, Moderne Burger), or a chain that originated in British Columbia (White Spot, Vera's).
• Ideally should be focused on hamburgers, but will also accept restaurants that prominently feature hamburgers on the menu.
• Must meet an acceptable level of quality.  Hard to quantify, but let's say this: if I wouldn't take a date there, it is not eligible.

I am grading on four dimensions: the place itself (includes location, decor, cleanliness, service, etc.), the burger, the fries (the traditional and best burger side), and the value I got for my money.  I will also provide an overall rating, which will be heavily weighted toward the burger component, since that's the goal here after all.


I begin with one of the Davie Village's oldest and most loved institutions: Hamburger Mary's.

Founded: 1979 (same as me)
Location: West End - 1202 Davie St. (at Bute)
Type of Restaurant: Diner
Website: http://members.shaw.ca/hamburgermarys/
Date and Time Burger Was Nom'd: Sunday, April 11, 2010 approx. 6:30 PM

The Place:


Hamburger Mary's is one of several retro diners whose burgers will be reviewed in this feature.  All the tired tropes of the retro diner are here: the jukebox (an all-digital one, however), the checkerboard tile, the metal-framed tables, and the kitschy crap on the walls.  Retro diners are kind of like tequila: you're either in the mood for it, or you don't want it anywhere near you.  There's no middle ground.

The name kind of makes me think of Typhoid Mary unfortunately, but that's just my hang-up; the place is clean, well-organized, and efficient.  Our server was polite, friendly, and attentive.  There were a few other people there when we went; it was by no means busy, but certainly not dead.  I could see myself coming back here to try other diner foods, such as breakfast or a grilled ham and cheese (which my friend ordered) if I were in the Davie area.  Its location is really the only thing that would keep an East Van resident like me from visiting more often; it's a bit of a hike from the Skytrain, and I'm pretty sure if Hercules were around today, parking in the West End would be one of his 12 trials.

That said, Mary's has a unique one-two punch among burger joints: it has cheap, good beer (Granville Island Lager when I was there) on tap, and it's open to 3 AM.  In other words, if you want a good burger and you want to get shit-faced, or if you're shit-faced and you want a good burger, this place can't be beat.

Place Rating: A-


The Burger:


If I could sum up the Mary's burger in one phrase, it would be "freedom of choice."  They have patties from beef (both standard and organic), chicken, salmon, bison, and something called "Arctic", which is apparently a combination of meats from various northern quadripeds such as caribou and musk ox.  They also have nearly everything you have ever thought of putting on a burger - plus a few things you haven't - available as a topping.  Toppings range in price from free for most vegetables to $1.69 for cheese, bacon, and such.  Some people (me, for example) could literally go nuts trying to decide exactly which of the thousands of possible combinations would make the best burger.  Fortunately Mary's has some pre-selected burger choices on the menu to order, or at least give you inspiration as you craft your own.

I chose the Vancouver Burger (beef, swiss, guacamole, sprouts, and mayo) but I replaced the sprouts with lettuce because sprouts are just nasty.  I can't imagine why you'd want to put them on a burger of all things.  I'm definitely a sucker for guac on a burger though.  It's one of those unconventional toppings that just works. Sprouts do not.  I'm going to have to give Mary a deduction just for even thinking that sprouts would be good on a burger.  That's like those people who think that tiny rancid fish are a good thing to put on pizza.

The burger itself arrived not too fast, not too slow, on a brown bun (another option).  Some places serve you the burger with the bun closed, while others leave it open for you to add condiments or roofies.  In the spirit of customer freedom, Hamburger Mary's is an open bun place. The bun was a bit larger than the patty, which is good for preventing leaks and messes, but also sometimes makes you feel like you're just biting into a bun.  The patty itself was well-cooked and flavourful, but a teeny bit dry - far from hockey puck territory though.  Toppings were fresh and in well-balanced quantities, except for the lettuce.  Mary's is apparently one of those places that throws a big leaf of romaine on the bun with no regard for it sticking way out there.

On the whole it was a very good burger, but a few small details combined to make it a bit less than ideal.

Burger Rating: B

The Fries:

Mary's does well here.  The fries were cut from raw potato on premises and fried perfectly in canola oil.  Not too mushy, not too firm, not too salty, not too complicated.  Ketchup was on the table, and when I requested malt vinegar it was provided without delay.

Fries Rating: A


Value:


My burger was $11.99 plus tax and tip, which is very good considering the location and quality of the food.  I could have paid more if I had wanted organic beef or one of the exotic meats, or if I added extra toppings.  The real savings here though is if you want a beer with your burger.  I paid for a pitcher (a BIG pitcher mind you) and my total all in was just over $30.  Keep in mind this is for Granville Island, which is a premium brand.

Value Rating: A

Overall Impression:

If I were in the West End and I wanted a burger and a beer, Hamburger Mary's would definitely be my top choice.  I have my doubts about it being the best burger in the city, and the Vanburger Roundup is certainly too young to make that call right now.  I think they would certainly be a worthy contender if they made a few minor changes, but another person might easily disagree with me and think that sprouts on a burger would be glorious.  Plus, you can't argue with the value of this place.

Overall Rating: B+, almost an A-




For future installments of Vanburger Roundup, I look forward to reviewing the following places:

• Splitz (Mid Main)
• Vera's (local chain - various locations)
• Moderne Burger (Kitsilano)
• Bamboo Cafe (Collingwood)
• ... and, of course, the grand-daddy of them all: White Spot (various)

If anyone has any suggestions for other places to hit, please post in the comments.